My Day
My latest entreaties into Buddhism tell me that all is impermanence, and, Yes, today has been a day with no real "achievement" in that sense. I've done nothing particularly constructive and have nothing to show for my disconstructiveness (made that one up BTW). Henceforth, it is all quite impermanent b/c it was neither constructed in the first place, and never was permanent having never been created.
We had a lovely dinner with friends last night, but the end result was blah b/c the extra bottle was opened. Wine can be a sublime and warm experience up until the extra bottle is opened. Before that moment it's a comfy blanket and a fire, the next falling into a mud puddle or worse, a steaming pile. The extra bottle didn't make me ill, no vomit, but it did bring that oh-so-precious mind-leeching wine hangover this a.m. That set the stage for such a "non-realized" day.
5.10a.m.- brief awakeness and nasty headache
7.45a.m.- upright, morning constitutional
8.00-10.00a.m.- watched part of Swimming Regionals, where our girls dominated. Tall and strong those gals are. My! Swim meets are sort of boring, but moral support is a good thing. One of the gals graciously thanked us (happened to sit next to asstAD and AP)
10.00-1.30p.m.- ??? vegetative. in and out of sleep, doing nothing
1.30-2.00p.m.- shower, cleanliness and ibuprofen. improvement noted.
2.20-3.20- Z and L's bball games. L fought cavalierly but didn't have the greatest of times. Buddhism teaches loving-kindness, so I try. BUT, there is a kid on L's team who is the biggest ball hog of all time. Basically, he tries to take the ball away from teammates, and every time he has possession, he shoots regardless of situation. Being 6 and 7 yrs old, there's not a lot to do about the situation, but I have a hard time practicing "loving-kindess" with the ball brat and with his dad. I'm sure Pops is really proud of his son having "a nose for the ball". He'll end up a Republican operative, I'm sure. Z's team lost badly again. It's a tough situation, as you want your child to enjoy and perceive success and accomplishment. They're smaller than the other teams. Three of their best players weren't there today. Their coach is an older gentleman with a gracious smile who doesn't really teach them anything basketball-like. They lost 44-12, w/ Z scoring 4 pts. He complained of a teammate not playing well, but I asked him if he made every shot, pulled down every rebound and stopped every opponent. Hopefully, that message got through a bit. If he's enjoying himself and is getting winter-time exercise, that is really all that is important. I hope, though, that he staves off deep disappointment.
3.30-7.52p.m.- other than 1 load of woolies in the washer, I'm not sure what has really transpired these last hours. Chairs, TV, time waste, void. I did do a little bit of reading from the Dalai Lama, but bizarre Tibetan syntax about flower not-tree isn't my thing this evening.
The household seems comatose, non-moving, not even breathing, the only energy that of the obnoxious noise from the video game downstairs. Destroy All Humans? These are the values I'm engendering in my children? Outside is a freezer full of dead meat and freezer-burned green beans and perhaps a fruitcake from Auntie Em from 1983. Instead of practicing loving-kindness, I'm mired in blubbering-listlessness. Had the extra bottle not taken place, an a.m. bike ride in the cold but warming sun might have taken place. Strangely, I'm acclimating to the temps, I think. Nothing a good extra pair of wool socks won't cure.
The Fifth Precept is to avoid Intoxicants which can cloud the Right Consciousness. And I agree. I feel better clean of mind in meditation than I do after the extra bottle. A glass or two, Yes. The extra bottle, No. It is unnecessary and counterproductive. Concerning the one or two glasses, a different, and perhaps more valid perspective is:
To me, that is an intriguing point. A small commitment, but a strong commitment. Much like promoting No Harm by converting to vegetarianism, logically Tee-Totaling is a small-but-large step than would probably yield appropriate and positive results. These would be difficult, but none-the-less satisfying actions.
Am I brave enough to actually continue with my studies and admit that I am "practicing" Buddhism? Am I practicing Buddhism? Or am I just dabbling in the latest self-help mumbo-jumbo? I am not a positive person. I am not a generally kind person. I'm a bitter, negative person (who can be very funny, entertaining and charming to boot). These qualities would be good to adjust. That is the simple premise. I am aware of my own suffering, and am aware of the need to change it, not for the betterment of myself, then for the betterment of others, my children, my wife, my colleagues, my friends, and as importantly, all others. It is addressing the human condition that I want to explore. I guess if others can leave blog entries about The Bible or Peak Oil, then I'm allowed to explore my own interests as well, right? Yes. I am, and hope to also spread some graciousness as well to all of you, the reader and the fellow traveler, starting with the Ball Hog. Loving-Kindness to him first.
We had a lovely dinner with friends last night, but the end result was blah b/c the extra bottle was opened. Wine can be a sublime and warm experience up until the extra bottle is opened. Before that moment it's a comfy blanket and a fire, the next falling into a mud puddle or worse, a steaming pile. The extra bottle didn't make me ill, no vomit, but it did bring that oh-so-precious mind-leeching wine hangover this a.m. That set the stage for such a "non-realized" day.
5.10a.m.- brief awakeness and nasty headache
7.45a.m.- upright, morning constitutional
8.00-10.00a.m.- watched part of Swimming Regionals, where our girls dominated. Tall and strong those gals are. My! Swim meets are sort of boring, but moral support is a good thing. One of the gals graciously thanked us (happened to sit next to asstAD and AP)
10.00-1.30p.m.- ??? vegetative. in and out of sleep, doing nothing
1.30-2.00p.m.- shower, cleanliness and ibuprofen. improvement noted.
2.20-3.20- Z and L's bball games. L fought cavalierly but didn't have the greatest of times. Buddhism teaches loving-kindness, so I try. BUT, there is a kid on L's team who is the biggest ball hog of all time. Basically, he tries to take the ball away from teammates, and every time he has possession, he shoots regardless of situation. Being 6 and 7 yrs old, there's not a lot to do about the situation, but I have a hard time practicing "loving-kindess" with the ball brat and with his dad. I'm sure Pops is really proud of his son having "a nose for the ball". He'll end up a Republican operative, I'm sure. Z's team lost badly again. It's a tough situation, as you want your child to enjoy and perceive success and accomplishment. They're smaller than the other teams. Three of their best players weren't there today. Their coach is an older gentleman with a gracious smile who doesn't really teach them anything basketball-like. They lost 44-12, w/ Z scoring 4 pts. He complained of a teammate not playing well, but I asked him if he made every shot, pulled down every rebound and stopped every opponent. Hopefully, that message got through a bit. If he's enjoying himself and is getting winter-time exercise, that is really all that is important. I hope, though, that he staves off deep disappointment.
3.30-7.52p.m.- other than 1 load of woolies in the washer, I'm not sure what has really transpired these last hours. Chairs, TV, time waste, void. I did do a little bit of reading from the Dalai Lama, but bizarre Tibetan syntax about flower not-tree isn't my thing this evening.
The household seems comatose, non-moving, not even breathing, the only energy that of the obnoxious noise from the video game downstairs. Destroy All Humans? These are the values I'm engendering in my children? Outside is a freezer full of dead meat and freezer-burned green beans and perhaps a fruitcake from Auntie Em from 1983. Instead of practicing loving-kindness, I'm mired in blubbering-listlessness. Had the extra bottle not taken place, an a.m. bike ride in the cold but warming sun might have taken place. Strangely, I'm acclimating to the temps, I think. Nothing a good extra pair of wool socks won't cure.
The Fifth Precept is to avoid Intoxicants which can cloud the Right Consciousness. And I agree. I feel better clean of mind in meditation than I do after the extra bottle. A glass or two, Yes. The extra bottle, No. It is unnecessary and counterproductive. Concerning the one or two glasses, a different, and perhaps more valid perspective is:
But drinking just a small amount wouldn't be really breaking the precept, would it? It's only a small thing.
Yes, it is only a small thing and if you can't practice even a small thing, your commitment and resolution isn't very strong, is it?
To me, that is an intriguing point. A small commitment, but a strong commitment. Much like promoting No Harm by converting to vegetarianism, logically Tee-Totaling is a small-but-large step than would probably yield appropriate and positive results. These would be difficult, but none-the-less satisfying actions.
Am I brave enough to actually continue with my studies and admit that I am "practicing" Buddhism? Am I practicing Buddhism? Or am I just dabbling in the latest self-help mumbo-jumbo? I am not a positive person. I am not a generally kind person. I'm a bitter, negative person (who can be very funny, entertaining and charming to boot). These qualities would be good to adjust. That is the simple premise. I am aware of my own suffering, and am aware of the need to change it, not for the betterment of myself, then for the betterment of others, my children, my wife, my colleagues, my friends, and as importantly, all others. It is addressing the human condition that I want to explore. I guess if others can leave blog entries about The Bible or Peak Oil, then I'm allowed to explore my own interests as well, right? Yes. I am, and hope to also spread some graciousness as well to all of you, the reader and the fellow traveler, starting with the Ball Hog. Loving-Kindness to him first.
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