Guilt

i work with a woman, let's call her 'Pat'. i call her that b/c i think she herself is confused about her sexuality. too manly to be straight, but maybe not fully enthralled with dykedom. she also has a masters in gender studies and imposes lots and lots and lots of gender analysis in her classes, much like i impose listening to whatev wack crap i can find (Beethoven, The Roots, Flaco Jimenez, Tango, Manu Chao- you get the picture) really, though, her issues are of absolutely NO consequence with respects to this nugget.

on friday i and 'darryl' were about to use the elevator to go up to our respective rooms. when i ride a standard bike, i carry the bike up to the 2nd, but really the lift is much easier w/ the Rans. 'Pat' was walking up to the lift (shorter to type than elevator) and said to us.."boy, you two sure are making me feel guilty", us riding to work and all. 'Pat' has, from what i gather, an Electra of some sort- most likely a SS. her ultimate rationale for NOT riding the bike to work (she, in fact, lives about 2 blocks away from 'sheryl') is that a bike helmet would mess up her hair, and she doesn't feel safe riding to work in the dark w/out a helmet. i like that 2nd logical statement. a helmet is reasonably safe choice. the hair thing is, perhaps, a cogent observation as well. i am balding and generally have stupid hair, so i don't give a flying rat's ass abt my hair. 'Pat' wears her in this jet-black 50's pompadour/shortonthesides thing. as previously stated, there are some gender issues there, and she has one of the more personality-appropriate hairdos that i know of.

the point really is not her hair. the point is that 'darryl' and i commuting made her feel guilty. BUT, she was about to ride the elevator to the 3rd floor. she's somewhat heavy, but hey!, many of us fight that. i commute to work somewhat to ensure that regular workout. she's dropped a good bit of weight, which is great for her. it struck me as incredibly odd, or just a heaping pile of BS though, that she felt guilt for not riding he bike to work, but wouldn't carry her ass up a couple floors of steps. is there confusion here? irony? internal conflict? fuck, just walk up and down the steps some and get over the "commuting guilt".

sorry if i come off as a dick in this entry. maybe i should've kept the personal stuff out, but walk the damn stairs!